This past weekend was our half way mark . . . PRAISE THE LORD!!!!! I can't believe we are half way finished, but I'm SO thankful that we are. At the half way point, I have lost 18 pounds and that is just amazing to me. I'm really curious to see how much more I'll lose. Our last day is December 10th and that day will be a glorious one! I usually don't get excited about Christmas until after Halloween since I love Halloween so much, but this year I have found myself looking at Christmas stuff longingly as I wait for it's arrival. I think it has something to do with the fact that I'll get to eat something sweet at Christmas. What do you think?
The diet continues to truck along with nothing new to add really. I actually had a moment today when I thought, "You know what? I'm done." I wasn't really feeling desperate to eat anything in particular, I think I just wanted to be done. But as always, the Holy Spirit sustained me and kept me going just as He's done this entire time.
A friend of mine has commented since the beginning of this diet that I am glowing. I will be the first to admit that when you eat healthy, your skin clears up and looks really healthy and pretty, but as I was driving home from church tonight contemplating that statement, "You're glowing!", it occurred to me that it is so much more than the diet that is bringing about that glow. I had the revelation that the glow is not so much about the diet as it is about the Holy Spirit sustaining me. Every day I literally have to die to myself and allow the Holy Spirit to do His work in me. The Holy Spirit's work is to sustain me in every way and free me from bondage I place myself in to bring me closer to the Father and the Son. Who wouldn't glow from the inside out when the Holy Spirit is alive and working inside of you to bring about freedom? When we free ourselves up to love the Trinity, it shows on our face, in our words and in our actions. Why is it that we don't boldly live like the free people that we are? Why do we strap ourselves with chains that keep us from loving our Lord?
Being obedient is not about trying to please the Lord so that we are good enough in His eyes. Being obedient is about love . . . our love for our Father, honoring the love that the Lord has given us. It's about getting rid of what stands between us and our Father so we can love Him more and follow Him to wherever it is that He calls us. We are already His beloved. That's not the question and not what obedience is about. If there is anything in my life that keeps me from knowing His love to the fullest extent or keeps me from growing to the full stature of His image, then I need to find obedience in that area in order to be free and the Father has given us a Helper to do that. I want to have a correct understanding of the Father's love and be able to offer that same love and passion in return. I want to hear Him speak and respond in obedient faith and I can't do that when my chains are rattling behind me and holding me back. Jesus already died for every incident of my disobedience, so I need not worry about trying to be pleasing to Him. His Word says that He is well pleased with His people. My obedience tells Jesus, "Thank you. Your suffering was not in vain because I love you too. I want to know you more because you amaze me! I will follow you wherever you go."
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Wednesday, October 15, 2008
Days 32-39
Vernon and I got back from a trip to Seaside, Florida yesterday. If you haven't visited the Gulf Coast in Alabama or Florida, I strongly recommend making the trip . . . it's AMAZING!!! And, if you're one of my Texas friends reading this and thinking that the trip wouldn't really be worth it because you've been to the Gulf Coast of Texas and it's not that great, let me tell you now to get those images out of your head immediately!!! The Gulf Coasts of Alabama and Florida are simply spectacular and NOTHING like the Gulf Coast of Texas. I've often wondered how they are the same body of water!
The vacation was wonderful . . . it was great to be with my sweet husband away from our normal routine. I definitely loved it, but there were things that were really hard about it . . .
1. I still had to cook every single meal . . . not my ideal vacation, but it was also kind of fun. The Lord showed me the blessings of it - eating on the balcony, listening to the water and uninterrupted conversation with my sweetheart. That's definitely not a bad way to spend the evening!
2. I've been to Seaside before and you can buy the GREATEST chocolate cake in the whole world there! I didn't realize just how hard it would be to go there and not eat that cake. It was HARD!!! There were times that I had to stop myself from premeditating how I could sneak some home. That was a great reminder about how we don't just accidently fall into temptation or sin . . . we plan it, we plot it out and then we take action. In order to be obedient, we have to capture our thoughts and realize where those thoughts lead us . . . do we need to change the course of our thoughts in order to change our later actions? Had I not taken captive those thoughts, I would be sitting here with that cake right now, being disobedient in what I'm trying to break free from. Obedience leads to freedom . . . NOT chocolate cake. I wish chocolate cake did bring freedom!
3. The other thing that I didn't realize would be hard on this trip was stopping for gas at "convenient" stores. Wow. It was brutal walking into those gas stations and not buying some kind of treat . . . either a soda or some candy or even just some gum. For whatever reason in the past, the food I've eaten while traveling hasn't felt like it counted because there aren't really any great options, so that just gave me permission to eat a ton of JUNK! What a striking revelation! A disgusting revelation too. And, it occurred to me that the food we consider "convenient" is TERRIBLE for us! I've come to realize that it's just as "convenient" to eat grapes and apples for a snack as it is to eat something with a wrapper on it. So why do these "convenient" stores only sell us garbage? Granted, it's yummy garbage that I desperately wanted to partake in, but it's just a sad state of the way things are. I was telling my mom about that today and she said that one of the challenges on The Biggest Loser is to take a road trip and have to go into the convenient stores all along the way without purchasing what they used to. GOOD CHALLENGE!!! HARD challenge. It's also a sobering thought to realize that had I not taken charge of my eating now, I could have ended up in even more bondage that would have been even harder to be set free from. My challenges are no different that those contestants on that show. My hat's off to them for doing what they are doing. I praise the Lord for bringing me to a place of recognition early in the battle! He's SO GOOD!
The Lord definitely continues to bless me in this process . . . He's constantly teaching me and revealing His provisions for me. He's showing me where I struggle and how to find victory in Him. He loves me real good.
The vacation was wonderful . . . it was great to be with my sweet husband away from our normal routine. I definitely loved it, but there were things that were really hard about it . . .
1. I still had to cook every single meal . . . not my ideal vacation, but it was also kind of fun. The Lord showed me the blessings of it - eating on the balcony, listening to the water and uninterrupted conversation with my sweetheart. That's definitely not a bad way to spend the evening!
2. I've been to Seaside before and you can buy the GREATEST chocolate cake in the whole world there! I didn't realize just how hard it would be to go there and not eat that cake. It was HARD!!! There were times that I had to stop myself from premeditating how I could sneak some home. That was a great reminder about how we don't just accidently fall into temptation or sin . . . we plan it, we plot it out and then we take action. In order to be obedient, we have to capture our thoughts and realize where those thoughts lead us . . . do we need to change the course of our thoughts in order to change our later actions? Had I not taken captive those thoughts, I would be sitting here with that cake right now, being disobedient in what I'm trying to break free from. Obedience leads to freedom . . . NOT chocolate cake. I wish chocolate cake did bring freedom!
3. The other thing that I didn't realize would be hard on this trip was stopping for gas at "convenient" stores. Wow. It was brutal walking into those gas stations and not buying some kind of treat . . . either a soda or some candy or even just some gum. For whatever reason in the past, the food I've eaten while traveling hasn't felt like it counted because there aren't really any great options, so that just gave me permission to eat a ton of JUNK! What a striking revelation! A disgusting revelation too. And, it occurred to me that the food we consider "convenient" is TERRIBLE for us! I've come to realize that it's just as "convenient" to eat grapes and apples for a snack as it is to eat something with a wrapper on it. So why do these "convenient" stores only sell us garbage? Granted, it's yummy garbage that I desperately wanted to partake in, but it's just a sad state of the way things are. I was telling my mom about that today and she said that one of the challenges on The Biggest Loser is to take a road trip and have to go into the convenient stores all along the way without purchasing what they used to. GOOD CHALLENGE!!! HARD challenge. It's also a sobering thought to realize that had I not taken charge of my eating now, I could have ended up in even more bondage that would have been even harder to be set free from. My challenges are no different that those contestants on that show. My hat's off to them for doing what they are doing. I praise the Lord for bringing me to a place of recognition early in the battle! He's SO GOOD!
The Lord definitely continues to bless me in this process . . . He's constantly teaching me and revealing His provisions for me. He's showing me where I struggle and how to find victory in Him. He loves me real good.
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
Days 21-31
We have successfully completed 4 1/2 weeks on this diet!!! It's amazing to me that we are 1/3 of the way finished. At the 1 month milestone, I'm proud to announce that I've lost a total of 13 pounds, which thrills me beyond no end! I'm not sure how much Vernon has lost because he hasn't kept up with it as religiously as I have. There's my vanity shining ever-so-brightly!
It's been interesting to see the progression of this diet. The first couple of weeks were brutal, the next couple of weeks were easy, and it seems like we're getting into another hard stage. For the couple of weeks that were easy, I feel like it was that way because we were able to reach the milestone of adding meat and then we finally found a routine that worked for us. Those were both such beautiful rewards to receive! I feel like it's getting hard again because there's no more small milestone's to make . . . we're done adding new things to eat and what was a good routine feels a little monotonous now. We're also both feeling tired again and that is a serious downer! The rewards are definitely harder to see right now.
The other night we had to go to a dinner party with some people that Vernon works with. We had to sit there and politely decline ALL of the food that had been prepared for us and I was mortified the whole time. They were gracious, but I couldn't get rid of the feeling that we were being so rude. I'm going to visit an elderly friend of mine tomorrow and I feel confident she will offer me something that she has prepared for me and once again, I will have to be rude and say, "No, thanks." This is all really hard for me right now, but as it is with all walks of obedience, we have to say, "No, thanks.", a lot . . . even to people we love. That's just plain hard and it's definitely something I'm having to rely on God's help to do.
Being tired again has been hard because I immediately want to default into my old pattern of doing things . . . going somewhere to eat, grabbing things that aren't as healthy, etc. It's made me aware of how hard obedience is when we're tired and when we're comfortable in our routine. Obedience is something that I have to work on all the time and just when I think I've mastered the area I'm trying to be obedient in, that's when it gets hard again because I quit being diligent.
So, it's back to being diligent in looking for new ways and new areas to be obedient in this diet. It's time to dig deeper.
It's been interesting to see the progression of this diet. The first couple of weeks were brutal, the next couple of weeks were easy, and it seems like we're getting into another hard stage. For the couple of weeks that were easy, I feel like it was that way because we were able to reach the milestone of adding meat and then we finally found a routine that worked for us. Those were both such beautiful rewards to receive! I feel like it's getting hard again because there's no more small milestone's to make . . . we're done adding new things to eat and what was a good routine feels a little monotonous now. We're also both feeling tired again and that is a serious downer! The rewards are definitely harder to see right now.
The other night we had to go to a dinner party with some people that Vernon works with. We had to sit there and politely decline ALL of the food that had been prepared for us and I was mortified the whole time. They were gracious, but I couldn't get rid of the feeling that we were being so rude. I'm going to visit an elderly friend of mine tomorrow and I feel confident she will offer me something that she has prepared for me and once again, I will have to be rude and say, "No, thanks." This is all really hard for me right now, but as it is with all walks of obedience, we have to say, "No, thanks.", a lot . . . even to people we love. That's just plain hard and it's definitely something I'm having to rely on God's help to do.
Being tired again has been hard because I immediately want to default into my old pattern of doing things . . . going somewhere to eat, grabbing things that aren't as healthy, etc. It's made me aware of how hard obedience is when we're tired and when we're comfortable in our routine. Obedience is something that I have to work on all the time and just when I think I've mastered the area I'm trying to be obedient in, that's when it gets hard again because I quit being diligent.
So, it's back to being diligent in looking for new ways and new areas to be obedient in this diet. It's time to dig deeper.
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