What a blessing to feel like myself again! I'm even enjoying doing the mundane chores around the house since I had no energy to do them just a few days ago. It's amazing how the body works when you eat protein! While I am still enjoying the vegetables, I can now say with some authority that being a vegetarian is definitely not the way to go for me. I guess that some bodies do fine with it since there are several people that choose that lifestyle and swear by it, but my body definitely does not function normally without meat. I'm good with that.
One of the greatest blessings of this whole detox experience is what it has done for my marriage. I'm a better wife than I used to be. I'm taking better care of my husband, our home, and myself and that just makes for a better marriage. I loved my husband more than anything before, but now that love is so much stronger and sweeter. Love the blessings the Lord bestows on His children when we live our lives for Him!!!
Saturday, September 27, 2008
Monday, September 22, 2008
Day 15
I FINALLY feel like myself again and Vernon feels like himself again . . . what an INCREDIBLE blessing!!! I was able to get much needed work done around the house today, I went to Jazzercise, and I was actually able to formulate my thoughts in a way that actually made sense today. I was so excited to go to Jazzercise today that I actually got butterflies in my tummy turning into the parking lot. Is that not crazy??? I'm SO thankful for all of these things and know that they come straight from the Lord.
I think one of the things that this act of obedience in my eating is teaching me is to pay attention to the little things in my life. I was reading the sermon on the mount this morning in my quiet time and I noticed how much of that God is stirring in me. He commands us not to worry about tomorrow because He will provide for us. Walking through this detox has helped me with that so much without me really even realizing it just for the simple fact that thinking about doing this every day for the next three months is way too overwhelming. I have to focus on being obedient each day and not worry about what the next day will bring. What a great life lesson to really learn and put into practice! The NLT of Matthew 6:31-33 reads, "So don't worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern."
I also feel like this detox experience has made me much more aware of blessings I receive every day. Our Lord delights in loving and blessing His children. I love seeing His blessings with a more attentive eye and appreciative heart. When we fall into the rut of "the American way" of wanting everything we see and wanting it right this minute, we miss out on SO MANY BLESSINGS! The truth of the matter is that we're on this Earth to bring honor and glory to the King and that's it. It's not about us, but we make it about us. When we get ourselves out of the way and just see Him, we see A LOT . . . power, love, generosity, grace, healing, truth, beauty, compassion, and so much more. What a beautiful thing to look at all day every day!
On my flight to Portland a few weeks ago, I began reading a book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss entitled, The Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free. I got about half way through the book on the plane, and it definitely challenged me. I felt like I was a little bit distracted on the plane, but apparently some of the ideas in the book have stuck with me without me even realizing it. For example . . . "Obedience is the pathway to freedom." I decided last night that I needed a refresher of what I had read a few weeks ago, so I skimmed through the things I underlined and one of the first things I came across was that sentence. How true that statement is! In our obedience, we find incredible power from the Holy Spirit to overcome anything and that leads to freedom. The Spirit is constantly speaking truth in our lives and showing us truth in our lives. When our ears are tuned to hear that voice, when our eyes are focused on our beautiful Master, He leads us to freedom in Him. We train our ears and our eyes through obedience.
I think it's definitely time to pick this book back up and start over from the beginning. I've definitely been wanting to hear God's truth in my life more and more lately. Praise be to Him that speaks Truth over me every day!
I think one of the things that this act of obedience in my eating is teaching me is to pay attention to the little things in my life. I was reading the sermon on the mount this morning in my quiet time and I noticed how much of that God is stirring in me. He commands us not to worry about tomorrow because He will provide for us. Walking through this detox has helped me with that so much without me really even realizing it just for the simple fact that thinking about doing this every day for the next three months is way too overwhelming. I have to focus on being obedient each day and not worry about what the next day will bring. What a great life lesson to really learn and put into practice! The NLT of Matthew 6:31-33 reads, "So don't worry about having enough food or drink or clothing. Why be like the pagans who are so deeply concerned about these things? Your heavenly Father already knows all your needs, and he will give you all you need from day to day if you live for him and make the Kingdom of God your primary concern."
I also feel like this detox experience has made me much more aware of blessings I receive every day. Our Lord delights in loving and blessing His children. I love seeing His blessings with a more attentive eye and appreciative heart. When we fall into the rut of "the American way" of wanting everything we see and wanting it right this minute, we miss out on SO MANY BLESSINGS! The truth of the matter is that we're on this Earth to bring honor and glory to the King and that's it. It's not about us, but we make it about us. When we get ourselves out of the way and just see Him, we see A LOT . . . power, love, generosity, grace, healing, truth, beauty, compassion, and so much more. What a beautiful thing to look at all day every day!
On my flight to Portland a few weeks ago, I began reading a book by Nancy Leigh DeMoss entitled, The Lies Women Believe and the Truth That Sets Them Free. I got about half way through the book on the plane, and it definitely challenged me. I felt like I was a little bit distracted on the plane, but apparently some of the ideas in the book have stuck with me without me even realizing it. For example . . . "Obedience is the pathway to freedom." I decided last night that I needed a refresher of what I had read a few weeks ago, so I skimmed through the things I underlined and one of the first things I came across was that sentence. How true that statement is! In our obedience, we find incredible power from the Holy Spirit to overcome anything and that leads to freedom. The Spirit is constantly speaking truth in our lives and showing us truth in our lives. When our ears are tuned to hear that voice, when our eyes are focused on our beautiful Master, He leads us to freedom in Him. We train our ears and our eyes through obedience.
I think it's definitely time to pick this book back up and start over from the beginning. I've definitely been wanting to hear God's truth in my life more and more lately. Praise be to Him that speaks Truth over me every day!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Day 14
Thank you, Lord, for CHICKEN!!! I've never loved chicken as much as I do today . . . our first day to have chicken in two weeks. It was a glorious thing and my body is SO THANKFUL that I remembered that it likes food! It was definitely a good day. Hopefully, the chicken will make it where I can go to Jazzercise tomorrow. Chicken and Jazzercise all in one day . . . now that is what dreams are made of!
Oh, and on this big mile stone in the diet, I'm proud to announce that I've lost almost 9 pounds. HALLELUJAH!!!
Oh, and on this big mile stone in the diet, I'm proud to announce that I've lost almost 9 pounds. HALLELUJAH!!!
Saturday, September 20, 2008
Days 11, 12 and 13
The last few days have been good . . . I had enough energy to run a lot of errands Thursday afternoon and then that night we celebrated my father-in-law and brother-in-law's birthdays at a local restaurant. I have SO MUCH respect for Vernon going to eat in a restaurant EVERY DAY for lunch on this diet!!! We knew there wouldn't be anything on the menu we could partake in, so we ate before we went and then sat and enjoyed the visiting while everyone else ate dinner. That was HARD!!! However, it was very interesting to see what I wanted steal off of their plates the most. The thing I wanted the most was . . . the SALAD!!! There was prime rib, baked potatoes, and crab claws in front of me and I about lunged across the table at the salad. Granted, I can eat salad, but I can't eat real dressing or croutons. That combination is the thing I coveted the most. The thing I coveted second most was the baked potato with butter, but that ran a close tie with the crab claws. I definitely could have put a dent in those crab claws. The most interesting part to me though, was that I had NO DESIRE for the prime rib at all. I wasn't tempted by it in the least and this is huge for me . . . I have always had a healthy "cow appetite" and Thursday night, I had none. Interesting.
I guess I ran myself into the ground on Thursday because I was tired all day Friday and had to have a lot of down time. The energy returned today though and I've had a wonderful day hanging out with my sweetheart. It's been a really good week and I can't believe that 13 days of eating only veggies and fruit has passed. TOMORROW is our day to add in some meat! I can't even tell you how exciting that is for both of us.
I've run across some great recipes at vegcooking.com and I thought I would share some of them with all of you since they have been some of our life savers. I hope you enjoy this as much as we have!
COCONUT CABBAGE SALAD
2 tsp vegetable oil (I use olive oil.)
1/2 tsp mustard seeds
2 green chilies, chopped lengthwise
8-9 curry leaves (optional) - I leave them out & it's yummy.
2 cups fresh green cabbage, finely chopped
Pinch turmeric powder
1/2 cup grated coconut, fresh or dried (I haven't found any that isn't sweetened and I'm not into cracking fresh coconuts myself, so I leave this out as well and it's still yummy.)
Salt to taste
1 tsp lemon juice
1/4 cup chopped coriander (I just use a little bit of the ground coriander that's easy to find in the spice section until it tastes right.)
10 2-inch coriander sprigs (I leave these off as well.)
-Heat the oil. Pop the mustard seeds in it and add the chilies and curry leaves.
-Add the cabbage and turmeric powder and stir for a minute.
-Add the coconut, salt, lemon juice, and chopped coriander. Stir for 2 minutes. Taste and adjust the seasonings.
-Remove from the heat and cool.
-Serve at room temperature, garnished with the coriander sprigs.
Makes 4 servings.
GARLIC BROCCOLI
2-3 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp minced garlic
1 crown broccoli, cut into quarters
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup water
-Heat the oil in a pan over medium heat. Saute' the garlic for 1 minute. Add the broccoli, salt and water. Cook covered for 5 minutes on low heat.
Makes 1 to 2 servings.
GRILLED CAJUN PORTOBELLO WITH AVOCADO CREME
For the Portobello Fillets:
1 1/2 Tbsp smoked paprika
1 Tbsp paprika
2 Tbsp Celtic sea salt
2 Tbsp garlic powder
1 Tbsp onion powder
1 Tbsp black pepper
1 Tbsp cayenne pepper
1 Tbsp dried oregano leaves
1 Tbsp dried thyme
4 portobello mushrooms, cleaned
4-5 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
-Combine the spices in a dish to make the Cajun rub.
-Lightly coat the mushrooms first with the olive oil and then with the rub. Grill each side until cooked through. (I use my George Foreman grill and it's perfect.)
For the Avocado Creme:
2 ripe avocados, peeled and pitted
1/4 cup vegan mayonnaise (I leave this out and it works great.)
Juice of 2 limes
Salt and pepper to taste
-Combine all the ingredients in a blender until smooth.
Makes 4 servings.
I guess I ran myself into the ground on Thursday because I was tired all day Friday and had to have a lot of down time. The energy returned today though and I've had a wonderful day hanging out with my sweetheart. It's been a really good week and I can't believe that 13 days of eating only veggies and fruit has passed. TOMORROW is our day to add in some meat! I can't even tell you how exciting that is for both of us.
I've run across some great recipes at vegcooking.com and I thought I would share some of them with all of you since they have been some of our life savers. I hope you enjoy this as much as we have!
COCONUT CABBAGE SALAD
2 tsp vegetable oil (I use olive oil.)
1/2 tsp mustard seeds
2 green chilies, chopped lengthwise
8-9 curry leaves (optional) - I leave them out & it's yummy.
2 cups fresh green cabbage, finely chopped
Pinch turmeric powder
1/2 cup grated coconut, fresh or dried (I haven't found any that isn't sweetened and I'm not into cracking fresh coconuts myself, so I leave this out as well and it's still yummy.)
Salt to taste
1 tsp lemon juice
1/4 cup chopped coriander (I just use a little bit of the ground coriander that's easy to find in the spice section until it tastes right.)
10 2-inch coriander sprigs (I leave these off as well.)
-Heat the oil. Pop the mustard seeds in it and add the chilies and curry leaves.
-Add the cabbage and turmeric powder and stir for a minute.
-Add the coconut, salt, lemon juice, and chopped coriander. Stir for 2 minutes. Taste and adjust the seasonings.
-Remove from the heat and cool.
-Serve at room temperature, garnished with the coriander sprigs.
Makes 4 servings.
GARLIC BROCCOLI
2-3 Tbsp olive oil
1 Tbsp minced garlic
1 crown broccoli, cut into quarters
1/2 tsp salt
1 cup water
-Heat the oil in a pan over medium heat. Saute' the garlic for 1 minute. Add the broccoli, salt and water. Cook covered for 5 minutes on low heat.
Makes 1 to 2 servings.
GRILLED CAJUN PORTOBELLO WITH AVOCADO CREME
For the Portobello Fillets:
1 1/2 Tbsp smoked paprika
1 Tbsp paprika
2 Tbsp Celtic sea salt
2 Tbsp garlic powder
1 Tbsp onion powder
1 Tbsp black pepper
1 Tbsp cayenne pepper
1 Tbsp dried oregano leaves
1 Tbsp dried thyme
4 portobello mushrooms, cleaned
4-5 Tbsp extra virgin olive oil
-Combine the spices in a dish to make the Cajun rub.
-Lightly coat the mushrooms first with the olive oil and then with the rub. Grill each side until cooked through. (I use my George Foreman grill and it's perfect.)
For the Avocado Creme:
2 ripe avocados, peeled and pitted
1/4 cup vegan mayonnaise (I leave this out and it works great.)
Juice of 2 limes
Salt and pepper to taste
-Combine all the ingredients in a blender until smooth.
Makes 4 servings.
Wednesday, September 17, 2008
Day 10
The energy is FINALLY returning on a more consistent basis for me and that is music to my ears! Praise the Lord for continuing to provide energy! Vernon still comes home from work completely drained, but maybe that's to be expected. After all, he is expending A LOT of energy at work all day and still is only eating fruits and vegetables. We're just going to have to pray fervently for Vernon to have the energy he needs to feel really good.
I think the thing that both of us have struggled with today in this diet is how inconvenient it is. Vernon has business lunches every day and this diet does not lend itself well for those types of situations. Right now, he's just ordering dry salads and either taking an "approved" dressing from home or making his own of olive oil and pepper. If I had to do that everyday, I would DEFINITELY be sick of it. I want something WAY YUMMIER than olive oil and pepper on my raw salad! I'm so proud of his ability to continue in this detox journey away from the house!
While I feel so blessed to not have to navigate this diet outside of our home, I do feel like I'm cooking all the time (something I'm not really used to) and have to completely arrange my schedule around that. Now that I have some energy, that is starting to get a little bit old and restrictive. Everything I'm making doesn't take long to make, but I still have to be home to do it.
Also, our list of "acceptable" foods for this detox is so limited that it definitely poses a challenge. I still need to continue to branch out and try new things, so I'm going to type out the list of those "acceptable" foods as a reminder, hoping that it will spark some renewed interest in making something new. And, I'm sure some of you are curious as to what exactly we can and cannot eat. Here's the list:
Fresh or Frozen Vegetables as follows - Artichokes, Asparagus, Beets, Bok Choy, Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cabbage, Carrots, Cauliflower, Celery, Chives, Onions, Leeks, Garlic, Cucumbers, Eggplant, Kohlrabies, Mushrooms, Peppers, Radishes and any leafy greens that we want. That's it for veggies . . . no substitutes.
Fresh or Frozen Fruit as follows - any of them with the exception of tomatoes and oranges.
Lentils and Brown Rice.
Oils as follows - Coconut Oil, Extra-virgin Olive Oil, Fish Oil, Flaxseed Oil and Grapeseed Oil.
Seasonings as follows - any that do not have sugar in them.
And on Sunday we can add free range organic chicken and deep sea fish.
That's it for 3 months. Sadly, I don't feel inspired to try anything different on that list yet. Maybe I will tomorrow. The Lord is so faithful that I know He'll send the inspiration that I need. I'm also reminded that obedience is very rarely the easy solution. Oh, the lessons to learn!
I think the thing that both of us have struggled with today in this diet is how inconvenient it is. Vernon has business lunches every day and this diet does not lend itself well for those types of situations. Right now, he's just ordering dry salads and either taking an "approved" dressing from home or making his own of olive oil and pepper. If I had to do that everyday, I would DEFINITELY be sick of it. I want something WAY YUMMIER than olive oil and pepper on my raw salad! I'm so proud of his ability to continue in this detox journey away from the house!
While I feel so blessed to not have to navigate this diet outside of our home, I do feel like I'm cooking all the time (something I'm not really used to) and have to completely arrange my schedule around that. Now that I have some energy, that is starting to get a little bit old and restrictive. Everything I'm making doesn't take long to make, but I still have to be home to do it.
Also, our list of "acceptable" foods for this detox is so limited that it definitely poses a challenge. I still need to continue to branch out and try new things, so I'm going to type out the list of those "acceptable" foods as a reminder, hoping that it will spark some renewed interest in making something new. And, I'm sure some of you are curious as to what exactly we can and cannot eat. Here's the list:
Fresh or Frozen Vegetables as follows - Artichokes, Asparagus, Beets, Bok Choy, Broccoli, Brussels Sprouts, Cabbage, Carrots, Cauliflower, Celery, Chives, Onions, Leeks, Garlic, Cucumbers, Eggplant, Kohlrabies, Mushrooms, Peppers, Radishes and any leafy greens that we want. That's it for veggies . . . no substitutes.
Fresh or Frozen Fruit as follows - any of them with the exception of tomatoes and oranges.
Lentils and Brown Rice.
Oils as follows - Coconut Oil, Extra-virgin Olive Oil, Fish Oil, Flaxseed Oil and Grapeseed Oil.
Seasonings as follows - any that do not have sugar in them.
And on Sunday we can add free range organic chicken and deep sea fish.
That's it for 3 months. Sadly, I don't feel inspired to try anything different on that list yet. Maybe I will tomorrow. The Lord is so faithful that I know He'll send the inspiration that I need. I'm also reminded that obedience is very rarely the easy solution. Oh, the lessons to learn!
Day 9
Since the "official cleanse" is on with the full dose of supplements, I started out the day feeling kind of puny. Vernon's second day of all the supplements made him feel like he had the worst case of the flu known to man, so I expected today (my second day of full supplements) to be a little bit rough. Since I gradually added the supplements into my diet, my body didn't have as bad of a reaction as Vernon's did - yet another blessing from the Lord in all of this! I spent a lot of time lying around today and then after my afternoon shake, I started feeling better. I was blessed with some needed energy and was able to take a shower and get some stuff done around the house. It clearly hasn't been too bad for me this evening considering that I'm still up and going at midnight!
Speaking of being up and going at midnight . . . all the literature that we got for this detox said that this detox would help us sleep better. I was really looking forward to the idea of having a more regular sleeping schedule . . . going to bed at a reasonable hour and waking up at a time of day that's not embarrassing to admit. So far that has not been the case. Even on the days I have felt horrible, I haven't been able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour and when I do go to bed, I still have a hard time falling asleep. I'm still waking up at an unmentionable time in the morning too . . . really, it's awful! Maybe that's something I'm just going to have to work on retraining myself. I think I'll wait on that though until we're a little bit further into this whole thing!
In my inability to go to sleep when I get into bed, I've been able to think through a few things. Last night I contemplated why I've been able to stick with this diet as well as I have. Granted, it's only been 9 days, but for me it might as well have been a year. I think for me, it all comes down to my motivation. About 3 years ago, I was on a strict diet because of a tear I had in my esophagus that I needed to heal. For obvious health reasons, I was very diligent about following my diet, but once that tear healed, my motivation for continuing left and the overeating began. I went through some excruciating pain through that whole esophagus tear ordeal and even that wasn't enough to motivate me ultimately to continue in the better eating practices that I was doing. I allowed the emotional strain of our infertility struggles to cause me to say that I deserved the food that I wanted . . . and as much of it that I wanted. I guess on some level, I figured the pain of the esophagus tear wasn't as bad as the current pain. (There's my psycho-babble for you!)
On the diet for the esophagus tear, I lost a lot of weight (all that happily married weight you gain) and I enjoyed being my normal, skinny self again. Two years of struggling with fertility issues, nasty fertility drugs, and the simple fact that I was not okay with all of that added A LOT of weight - all that I had lost and then some. Since Vernon and I have fully accepted our fertility challenges and are no longer pursing any fertility treatments, I have thought a number of times that I would love to get back into those skinny clothes . . . to be in the body that I know is my normal, healthy body. I tend to be a rather vain person - it matters to me how I look and I love feeling pretty. I love clothes, shoes, purses, hats, make-up and the whole nine-yards. Someone told me at church on Sunday that I looked extra prissy and that totally made my day. You would think that my vanity would be strong enough motivation to take control of my eating just for the sheer joy of weight loss. That hasn't been the case though. All these months that I've wanted to get back to my normal self, I've never found enough will power to make that happen. I actually gained even more weight in my pursuit!
This detox started as an act of obedience to the Lord and that continues to be my motivation. I came to the conclusion last night that in my life, I need motivation that is birthed in LIFE CHANGING POWER and that only comes from the LORD. The Lord is POWERFUL and He CHANGES LIVES just by His being. If my ultimate goal is to know Him better, love Him more and then live with Him forever in Heaven, that changes EVERYTHING. And He doesn't stop at providing the motivation . . . He gives us His Spirit to empower us to persevere, to make radical changes and do radical things in His name. I believe in the power of the Lord to heal every part of me that is in need of healing because His Spirit is alive and active, and in the business of carrying out the powerful purposes of the Lord in our world. His purpose is always for us to know the TRUTH - He is the only truth and I want my life to stand next to His truth and be in line with it.
Health issues aren't a strong enough motivation because it's way to easy for me to convince myself that we're all dying and the Lord knows the number of my days anyway, so there's probably not much I can do to change that. Is that wise, healthy or even 100% truth? NO! There is truth in it, but it's not 100% truth. Even if I didn't consider my body a dwelling place of the Lord, what an insult to my husband and family to not try and be here for them in as good of condition as possible in the days I do have on this earth.
Vanity certainly is not a strong motivation because the Bible clearly tells us that beauty is fleeting. I can never do enough to keep myself looking "ideal". I'm a huge believer in being happy in your own skin - take care of yourself to the best of your ability and then be happy with what that looks like. We're commanded to do that. And you know, I see women all the time that weigh more than I do and think, "Wow. I wish I were as pretty as she is." The Lord speaks the absolute truth when He says that what is beautiful in a woman is her spirit - beauty that comes from within.
I'm counting on the Spirit to continue stirring this motivation of obedience in love and respect for the Lord in me all the days of my life.
Speaking of being up and going at midnight . . . all the literature that we got for this detox said that this detox would help us sleep better. I was really looking forward to the idea of having a more regular sleeping schedule . . . going to bed at a reasonable hour and waking up at a time of day that's not embarrassing to admit. So far that has not been the case. Even on the days I have felt horrible, I haven't been able to go to sleep at a reasonable hour and when I do go to bed, I still have a hard time falling asleep. I'm still waking up at an unmentionable time in the morning too . . . really, it's awful! Maybe that's something I'm just going to have to work on retraining myself. I think I'll wait on that though until we're a little bit further into this whole thing!
In my inability to go to sleep when I get into bed, I've been able to think through a few things. Last night I contemplated why I've been able to stick with this diet as well as I have. Granted, it's only been 9 days, but for me it might as well have been a year. I think for me, it all comes down to my motivation. About 3 years ago, I was on a strict diet because of a tear I had in my esophagus that I needed to heal. For obvious health reasons, I was very diligent about following my diet, but once that tear healed, my motivation for continuing left and the overeating began. I went through some excruciating pain through that whole esophagus tear ordeal and even that wasn't enough to motivate me ultimately to continue in the better eating practices that I was doing. I allowed the emotional strain of our infertility struggles to cause me to say that I deserved the food that I wanted . . . and as much of it that I wanted. I guess on some level, I figured the pain of the esophagus tear wasn't as bad as the current pain. (There's my psycho-babble for you!)
On the diet for the esophagus tear, I lost a lot of weight (all that happily married weight you gain) and I enjoyed being my normal, skinny self again. Two years of struggling with fertility issues, nasty fertility drugs, and the simple fact that I was not okay with all of that added A LOT of weight - all that I had lost and then some. Since Vernon and I have fully accepted our fertility challenges and are no longer pursing any fertility treatments, I have thought a number of times that I would love to get back into those skinny clothes . . . to be in the body that I know is my normal, healthy body. I tend to be a rather vain person - it matters to me how I look and I love feeling pretty. I love clothes, shoes, purses, hats, make-up and the whole nine-yards. Someone told me at church on Sunday that I looked extra prissy and that totally made my day. You would think that my vanity would be strong enough motivation to take control of my eating just for the sheer joy of weight loss. That hasn't been the case though. All these months that I've wanted to get back to my normal self, I've never found enough will power to make that happen. I actually gained even more weight in my pursuit!
This detox started as an act of obedience to the Lord and that continues to be my motivation. I came to the conclusion last night that in my life, I need motivation that is birthed in LIFE CHANGING POWER and that only comes from the LORD. The Lord is POWERFUL and He CHANGES LIVES just by His being. If my ultimate goal is to know Him better, love Him more and then live with Him forever in Heaven, that changes EVERYTHING. And He doesn't stop at providing the motivation . . . He gives us His Spirit to empower us to persevere, to make radical changes and do radical things in His name. I believe in the power of the Lord to heal every part of me that is in need of healing because His Spirit is alive and active, and in the business of carrying out the powerful purposes of the Lord in our world. His purpose is always for us to know the TRUTH - He is the only truth and I want my life to stand next to His truth and be in line with it.
Health issues aren't a strong enough motivation because it's way to easy for me to convince myself that we're all dying and the Lord knows the number of my days anyway, so there's probably not much I can do to change that. Is that wise, healthy or even 100% truth? NO! There is truth in it, but it's not 100% truth. Even if I didn't consider my body a dwelling place of the Lord, what an insult to my husband and family to not try and be here for them in as good of condition as possible in the days I do have on this earth.
Vanity certainly is not a strong motivation because the Bible clearly tells us that beauty is fleeting. I can never do enough to keep myself looking "ideal". I'm a huge believer in being happy in your own skin - take care of yourself to the best of your ability and then be happy with what that looks like. We're commanded to do that. And you know, I see women all the time that weigh more than I do and think, "Wow. I wish I were as pretty as she is." The Lord speaks the absolute truth when He says that what is beautiful in a woman is her spirit - beauty that comes from within.
I'm counting on the Spirit to continue stirring this motivation of obedience in love and respect for the Lord in me all the days of my life.
Monday, September 15, 2008
Day 8
Today has been wonderful . . . I actually felt like a normal person today! I was able to get a few things done around the house and then I was able to go to town for some FUN!!! I grabbed some groceries at CostCo and then headed to Hobby Lobby for pure entertainment and stayed for a really long time. What a HUGE blessing it is to get back to a somewhat normal life!
I started taking ALL of my supplements today and the Lord blessed me in that I was able to get them all down. I guess we can say the cleanse is officially on. I talked to my doctor today and he said that I couldn't start eating meat until Sunday rather than Thursday since I was just now able to take my supplements at full strength. I had so much fun today that I really don't even care about that though. If I can feel like a normal person on just the veggies, then I'm great with doing that for a few days longer. My biggest concern was that I would never get back to normal until I added some meat, but I'm seeing that may not be the case.
Hallelujah for such a terrific day! There's just nothing else to say . . . Praise be to Him who provides for every single one of our needs!
I started taking ALL of my supplements today and the Lord blessed me in that I was able to get them all down. I guess we can say the cleanse is officially on. I talked to my doctor today and he said that I couldn't start eating meat until Sunday rather than Thursday since I was just now able to take my supplements at full strength. I had so much fun today that I really don't even care about that though. If I can feel like a normal person on just the veggies, then I'm great with doing that for a few days longer. My biggest concern was that I would never get back to normal until I added some meat, but I'm seeing that may not be the case.
Hallelujah for such a terrific day! There's just nothing else to say . . . Praise be to Him who provides for every single one of our needs!
Sunday, September 14, 2008
Days 5, 6 and 7
I can't believe that I'm over half way done with the 10 days of no meat!!! That is such exciting news for me!!! Thursday is the glorious day that we can add chicken or fish back into the diet . . . it's written on the calendar and will be celebrated greatly!
Friday was a good day . . . I was able to get down 3/4 of both shakes with protein in them and the protein gave me enough energy to do a little bit of recreational sewing. That was fun for me. I didn't have enough energy to make it to the Girl's Night Out that was scheduled for that night, which was super sad, but I was so excited to feel like a half-way normal person throughout the day. The Lord blessed me with such a good day right in the middle of this first 10 days without meat and I praise Him for it!
Saturday more blessings came. I knew I had to add in the other supplements at half dosage on Saturday, so I asked to Lord to take control of my gag reflex, my brain and my body. I needed Him to take control so that I could get those things down and He did just that. It took me almost 2 hours to get down my shake with the extra supplements and the pills, but I did it without gagging. God made this beautiful treat called Red Grapes that got me through . . . any time I felt like I might gag, I ate some of these super sweet treats and they calmed my tummy right down.
I was also blessed to spend Saturday with my amazing husband. While I was trying to get down my shake, he let me suffer in private and went downstairs to pray fervently for the Lord to give me strength as I attempted to get down those important supplements. I love his precious soul! After I got down my shake, got ready for the day, and made us some lunch, we went to the grocery store, to see Vernon's mom and then to get his brother a birthday present. By the end of our journey, I felt terrible. The supplements are what do the actual cleansing and that process made Vernon feel like he had the flu. I didn't quite feel like that, but I definitely didn't feel good. Vernon brought me home and made me my afternoon shake. That boy is good at making the shakes!!! He made me such a yummy shake that I couldn't even taste the supplements and I didn't need any grapes to get it down. What a blessing my husband is to me!!!
Another blessing of Saturday was finding a super yummy way to make broccoli . . . it was tasty, it didn't smell bad and it wasn't a weird texture in mouth like it usually is. I think these taste buds really are changing!
Now for today . . . I woke up feeling good and I got down my shake in a pretty reasonable amount of time. I felt good until we got into the car to drive to church. All of a sudden, I felt weak and a little bit nauseous. I really wanted to be at church though, so I decided to push through it. By the time I sat down at church, I felt like I was in a total daze . . . like I was watching what was happening around me on TV. I felt like there was a cloud over my head and like I couldn't move. It was so very strange! I got up to leave and Vernon guided me to the car. As we walked, I was so blessed to talk to so many of you that are reading this journal. You encouraged me so much this morning and I desperately needed that! Praise God for such sweet friends!!! I apologize that I was basically off in la-la-land. This has really been the weirdest part of this whole detox and I hope it ends VERY soon. Vernon made us some yummy lunch and that has helped the fog clear a bit. At least I think it has - I may read this tomorrow and wonder what on earth I was talking about! I've taken the second round of pills though, so I may be loopy again any minute.
I told Jenn this morning that this has definitely been the hardest thing that I've ever done, but it's also been the easiest. I continue to have no desire to cheat on this diet - no mental desire and no physical desire. That's definitely not of me - it's all of Him. The number of blessings the Lord has bestowed are so numerous that He's made it so much better than I ever dreamed possible. That's His way though. That's why it's always best to follow His plan . . . obedience is for our benefit because He knows best. He made my body and He knows the best way to take care of it.
Here are my prayers through scriptures for the last three days:
Friday - I call to You, God and You save me. Even if I cry out in distress evening, morning and noon, You will never fail to hear my voice. (Psalm 55:16-17)
Saturday - Teach me Your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth; Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name. (Psalm 86:11)
Sunday - Guard my life and rescue me, O Lord. Let me not be put to shame for I take refuge in You. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in You. (Psalm 25:20-21)
Blessings to you today as well.
Friday was a good day . . . I was able to get down 3/4 of both shakes with protein in them and the protein gave me enough energy to do a little bit of recreational sewing. That was fun for me. I didn't have enough energy to make it to the Girl's Night Out that was scheduled for that night, which was super sad, but I was so excited to feel like a half-way normal person throughout the day. The Lord blessed me with such a good day right in the middle of this first 10 days without meat and I praise Him for it!
Saturday more blessings came. I knew I had to add in the other supplements at half dosage on Saturday, so I asked to Lord to take control of my gag reflex, my brain and my body. I needed Him to take control so that I could get those things down and He did just that. It took me almost 2 hours to get down my shake with the extra supplements and the pills, but I did it without gagging. God made this beautiful treat called Red Grapes that got me through . . . any time I felt like I might gag, I ate some of these super sweet treats and they calmed my tummy right down.
I was also blessed to spend Saturday with my amazing husband. While I was trying to get down my shake, he let me suffer in private and went downstairs to pray fervently for the Lord to give me strength as I attempted to get down those important supplements. I love his precious soul! After I got down my shake, got ready for the day, and made us some lunch, we went to the grocery store, to see Vernon's mom and then to get his brother a birthday present. By the end of our journey, I felt terrible. The supplements are what do the actual cleansing and that process made Vernon feel like he had the flu. I didn't quite feel like that, but I definitely didn't feel good. Vernon brought me home and made me my afternoon shake. That boy is good at making the shakes!!! He made me such a yummy shake that I couldn't even taste the supplements and I didn't need any grapes to get it down. What a blessing my husband is to me!!!
Another blessing of Saturday was finding a super yummy way to make broccoli . . . it was tasty, it didn't smell bad and it wasn't a weird texture in mouth like it usually is. I think these taste buds really are changing!
Now for today . . . I woke up feeling good and I got down my shake in a pretty reasonable amount of time. I felt good until we got into the car to drive to church. All of a sudden, I felt weak and a little bit nauseous. I really wanted to be at church though, so I decided to push through it. By the time I sat down at church, I felt like I was in a total daze . . . like I was watching what was happening around me on TV. I felt like there was a cloud over my head and like I couldn't move. It was so very strange! I got up to leave and Vernon guided me to the car. As we walked, I was so blessed to talk to so many of you that are reading this journal. You encouraged me so much this morning and I desperately needed that! Praise God for such sweet friends!!! I apologize that I was basically off in la-la-land. This has really been the weirdest part of this whole detox and I hope it ends VERY soon. Vernon made us some yummy lunch and that has helped the fog clear a bit. At least I think it has - I may read this tomorrow and wonder what on earth I was talking about! I've taken the second round of pills though, so I may be loopy again any minute.
I told Jenn this morning that this has definitely been the hardest thing that I've ever done, but it's also been the easiest. I continue to have no desire to cheat on this diet - no mental desire and no physical desire. That's definitely not of me - it's all of Him. The number of blessings the Lord has bestowed are so numerous that He's made it so much better than I ever dreamed possible. That's His way though. That's why it's always best to follow His plan . . . obedience is for our benefit because He knows best. He made my body and He knows the best way to take care of it.
Here are my prayers through scriptures for the last three days:
Friday - I call to You, God and You save me. Even if I cry out in distress evening, morning and noon, You will never fail to hear my voice. (Psalm 55:16-17)
Saturday - Teach me Your way, O Lord, and I will walk in Your truth; Give me an undivided heart, that I may fear Your name. (Psalm 86:11)
Sunday - Guard my life and rescue me, O Lord. Let me not be put to shame for I take refuge in You. May integrity and uprightness protect me, because my hope is in You. (Psalm 25:20-21)
Blessings to you today as well.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Day 4
When I look back on today, I see so many huge accomplishments, but for a good part of the day I was mad . . . mad that my doctor suggested such an idea, mad that I actually took his idea, mad that I was STARVING, mad that my upper lip has found a new trick of twitching from the lack of food, mad that my husband had to go to work so low on energy, and mad that I myself still have so little energy. I was so mad this afternoon that if Vernon had not come home when he did, I would have called my doctor and given him a piece of my mind. I mean seriously, how on earth does he expect people to function in the real world on such a stupid diet? I totally believe that all of the food God made is good, but He made the cow too and boy, is it GOOD!!!
Vernon came home and I cried and cried. I told him we could just quit - he wouldn't have to go to work feeling so terrible anymore and I wouldn't have to hunt down my doctor and EAT HIM! I was SO HUNGRY and had already eaten an entire egg plant, about 20 stalks of asparagus, and more grapes than I could count throughout the afternoon and nothing sounded good anymore. My sweet husband just held me, let me cry and even though I'm sure he was tempted to let me quit, he didn't. He didn't tell me that I had to keep going, he just reminded me about the progress that I have made today.
The progress I made today was this - I was able to drink 1/2 of a smoothie with the protein supplement in it for breakfast and 3/4 of the same thing for dinner. For me, that is HUGE!!! My sister asked me yesterday how the shakes were without the supplements and it occurred to me that maybe I should try them with just the protein - that maybe if I acclimated my body to that, then the other supplements wouldn't be so bad once I had to add them in. What a blessing that question was to me! It gave me the courage to try the smoothies again and those smoothies kept me from completely falling out today. After my morning smoothie I was able to go to the grocery store and it was such a blessing to get out of the house. The grocery store pretty much took all of my energy for the day, but it was worth it. Having the smoothies also increased my calorie intake by about 150 calories . . . I think that puts me up somewhere around 650 calories for the day compared to the 400-500 calories I've had every day thus far.
I'm sure that people who have vegetable-friendly taste buds can eat way more than 650 calories in vegetables and fruit, especially when they're hungry, but for me it's really a miracle that I was even getting the 400 calories down my throat. I'm so thankful for the extra calories that I got today and hope that I can continue adding calories until I get to a reasonable amount of calories to eat every day.
Oh, and you may be wondering how I know for sure that I've been eating that few number of calories - I've been tracking it on The Daily Plate. Yesterday, I ate 461 calories to be exact. I haven't figured it out yet for today. And, here's the answer to the question about how I cooked my veggies - I made a single layer of veggies on a cookie sheet, seasoned them with sea salt and fresh ground black pepper, drizzled a little olive oil on top and baked them at 350 until they are sizzling and brown . . . YUMMY! Thanks Martha for that tip! If any of you have any other ideas on great ways to cook veggies, or other veggie only recipes, I would LOVE to have them. Or great ways to make brown rice more delicious . . . it is BLAND!!! I'm running out of ideas and I still have 6 more days of rice, veggies and fruit only.
My prayer through scripture for today was this: Father, This moment I am choosing the way of truth. I want to set my heart on Your laws. (Psalm 119:30) Help me to choose the way of truth the rest of my days. It was a good one for me. I was mad a good bit of the day, but the TRUTH is that He blessed me A LOT today. It's always best to choose the way of truth. Too bad I turned that into such a hard lesson to learn today.
Vernon came home and I cried and cried. I told him we could just quit - he wouldn't have to go to work feeling so terrible anymore and I wouldn't have to hunt down my doctor and EAT HIM! I was SO HUNGRY and had already eaten an entire egg plant, about 20 stalks of asparagus, and more grapes than I could count throughout the afternoon and nothing sounded good anymore. My sweet husband just held me, let me cry and even though I'm sure he was tempted to let me quit, he didn't. He didn't tell me that I had to keep going, he just reminded me about the progress that I have made today.
The progress I made today was this - I was able to drink 1/2 of a smoothie with the protein supplement in it for breakfast and 3/4 of the same thing for dinner. For me, that is HUGE!!! My sister asked me yesterday how the shakes were without the supplements and it occurred to me that maybe I should try them with just the protein - that maybe if I acclimated my body to that, then the other supplements wouldn't be so bad once I had to add them in. What a blessing that question was to me! It gave me the courage to try the smoothies again and those smoothies kept me from completely falling out today. After my morning smoothie I was able to go to the grocery store and it was such a blessing to get out of the house. The grocery store pretty much took all of my energy for the day, but it was worth it. Having the smoothies also increased my calorie intake by about 150 calories . . . I think that puts me up somewhere around 650 calories for the day compared to the 400-500 calories I've had every day thus far.
I'm sure that people who have vegetable-friendly taste buds can eat way more than 650 calories in vegetables and fruit, especially when they're hungry, but for me it's really a miracle that I was even getting the 400 calories down my throat. I'm so thankful for the extra calories that I got today and hope that I can continue adding calories until I get to a reasonable amount of calories to eat every day.
Oh, and you may be wondering how I know for sure that I've been eating that few number of calories - I've been tracking it on The Daily Plate. Yesterday, I ate 461 calories to be exact. I haven't figured it out yet for today. And, here's the answer to the question about how I cooked my veggies - I made a single layer of veggies on a cookie sheet, seasoned them with sea salt and fresh ground black pepper, drizzled a little olive oil on top and baked them at 350 until they are sizzling and brown . . . YUMMY! Thanks Martha for that tip! If any of you have any other ideas on great ways to cook veggies, or other veggie only recipes, I would LOVE to have them. Or great ways to make brown rice more delicious . . . it is BLAND!!! I'm running out of ideas and I still have 6 more days of rice, veggies and fruit only.
My prayer through scripture for today was this: Father, This moment I am choosing the way of truth. I want to set my heart on Your laws. (Psalm 119:30) Help me to choose the way of truth the rest of my days. It was a good one for me. I was mad a good bit of the day, but the TRUTH is that He blessed me A LOT today. It's always best to choose the way of truth. Too bad I turned that into such a hard lesson to learn today.
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Day 3
I'll start with the things that were really difficult today and end on the blessings . . .
Today was difficult because:
1) I could tell before I even got out of bed that my body was finally mad that I had only eaten about 1000 calories over the last two days. Sure enough, when I got out of bed, there was a moment that I thought I might pass out.
2) I got some breakfast of pineapples and grapes and almost vomited after the first bite. Yesterday they were my life-savers.
3) I felt hungry a good part of the day, which I had not been feeling much at all. It's always easier to do a diet if you don't actually feel hungry.
4) The cravings kicked in today, which had been basically non-existent. For whatever strange reason, I really wanted Oreos today.
5) The constant headache continues.
6) My energy level is LOW and keeping me from all sorts of things that I want to be doing . . . one including Jazzercise. I'm basically a hermit these days.
7) Now for my anxiety . . . I have every intention of making it to the end of this detox, but I'm incredibly anxious about adding the supplements back in. I'm anxious about the length of this detox. My anxiety makes me want to quit AT LEAST three times a day. Then I have anxiety about failing. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord loves me just as I am - that I'll never be obedient in every area of my life. That's why He sent His one and only perfect Jesus. I want to be obedient in this detox to the end, but I know that if I end up being unable to finish, I can still be obedient in my food choices. I guess that's why I have to take this one day at a time - actually, one meal at a time. So often obedience requires a long progression of baby steps, not one giant act. If I was able to just quit sinning by simply making a decision to do so, I would have done it already. We must be faithful in the little areas first. Why is it that the little areas are the most difficult sometimes?
Moving on to the blessings of the day:
1) I didn't pass out.
2) I didn't vomit.
3) Grapes and pineapples became my friends again later in the day.
4) I discovered a totally yummy way to cook egg plant and asparagus . . . I ate 1/2 of an egg plant for lunch! That and some asparagus gave me some much needed strength and it's the most delicious thing I've eaten so far. I actually wanted the egg plant and asparagus more than recognizable rice! The taste buds seem to be changing and that helped me get over the cravings.
5) Vernon was home with me again today, which is such a huge blessing, and he's feeling much better today as well. He's such a rock for me.
6) Before we began this diet, I bought some cards with daily prayers through scripture on them and have been reading one each day of the diet. The scriptures have been just what I needed to pray and gain strength from each day.
Monday's scripture was Psalm 145:18 - Lord God, you are near to all who call on You, to all who call on You in truth. Tuesday's scripture was 2 Peter 3:11 - Lord, as I look forward to the day of Your return, help me live a holy and godly life. I am totally incapable of holiness without You. Today's scripture is Psalm 43:3 - O God, send forth Your light and Your truth to my life. Let them guide me; let them bring me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You dwell.
I was also reading the prophesies of Revelation 2 and 3 today. The reminder that the Lord sees my deeds, is happy with some and not so happy with others is a good reminder to have and good motivation to keep me in obedience. I love that the Spirit moves, works and speaks clearly. I want to fully walk in the power of the Holy Spirit; take full advantage of the power I have been given to fight off the evil one through the Holy Spirit. I feel like this experience will be a good lesson in learning how to do that. I don't feel like I've taken full advantage of that so far. My head is always a little fuzzy when I don't get enough to eat and it makes it really hard to concentrate. However, I continue to recognize the strength that He is bestowing on me. I know for a fact that I could not do this without the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of me. I've been successful for 3 days now . . . without the Spirit, this girl would've checked out after the first incident of gagging. His love for me is GREAT!
7) And finally, one of my greatest blessings of today is that so many of you have left comments of encouragement. I can't tell you how many times I've read them all! I've cried reading them, I've laughed reading them; I've held them in my heart. Thank you for walking with me.
Today was difficult because:
1) I could tell before I even got out of bed that my body was finally mad that I had only eaten about 1000 calories over the last two days. Sure enough, when I got out of bed, there was a moment that I thought I might pass out.
2) I got some breakfast of pineapples and grapes and almost vomited after the first bite. Yesterday they were my life-savers.
3) I felt hungry a good part of the day, which I had not been feeling much at all. It's always easier to do a diet if you don't actually feel hungry.
4) The cravings kicked in today, which had been basically non-existent. For whatever strange reason, I really wanted Oreos today.
5) The constant headache continues.
6) My energy level is LOW and keeping me from all sorts of things that I want to be doing . . . one including Jazzercise. I'm basically a hermit these days.
7) Now for my anxiety . . . I have every intention of making it to the end of this detox, but I'm incredibly anxious about adding the supplements back in. I'm anxious about the length of this detox. My anxiety makes me want to quit AT LEAST three times a day. Then I have anxiety about failing. I know beyond a shadow of a doubt that the Lord loves me just as I am - that I'll never be obedient in every area of my life. That's why He sent His one and only perfect Jesus. I want to be obedient in this detox to the end, but I know that if I end up being unable to finish, I can still be obedient in my food choices. I guess that's why I have to take this one day at a time - actually, one meal at a time. So often obedience requires a long progression of baby steps, not one giant act. If I was able to just quit sinning by simply making a decision to do so, I would have done it already. We must be faithful in the little areas first. Why is it that the little areas are the most difficult sometimes?
Moving on to the blessings of the day:
1) I didn't pass out.
2) I didn't vomit.
3) Grapes and pineapples became my friends again later in the day.
4) I discovered a totally yummy way to cook egg plant and asparagus . . . I ate 1/2 of an egg plant for lunch! That and some asparagus gave me some much needed strength and it's the most delicious thing I've eaten so far. I actually wanted the egg plant and asparagus more than recognizable rice! The taste buds seem to be changing and that helped me get over the cravings.
5) Vernon was home with me again today, which is such a huge blessing, and he's feeling much better today as well. He's such a rock for me.
6) Before we began this diet, I bought some cards with daily prayers through scripture on them and have been reading one each day of the diet. The scriptures have been just what I needed to pray and gain strength from each day.
Monday's scripture was Psalm 145:18 - Lord God, you are near to all who call on You, to all who call on You in truth. Tuesday's scripture was 2 Peter 3:11 - Lord, as I look forward to the day of Your return, help me live a holy and godly life. I am totally incapable of holiness without You. Today's scripture is Psalm 43:3 - O God, send forth Your light and Your truth to my life. Let them guide me; let them bring me to Your holy mountain, to the place where You dwell.
I was also reading the prophesies of Revelation 2 and 3 today. The reminder that the Lord sees my deeds, is happy with some and not so happy with others is a good reminder to have and good motivation to keep me in obedience. I love that the Spirit moves, works and speaks clearly. I want to fully walk in the power of the Holy Spirit; take full advantage of the power I have been given to fight off the evil one through the Holy Spirit. I feel like this experience will be a good lesson in learning how to do that. I don't feel like I've taken full advantage of that so far. My head is always a little fuzzy when I don't get enough to eat and it makes it really hard to concentrate. However, I continue to recognize the strength that He is bestowing on me. I know for a fact that I could not do this without the power of the Holy Spirit living inside of me. I've been successful for 3 days now . . . without the Spirit, this girl would've checked out after the first incident of gagging. His love for me is GREAT!
7) And finally, one of my greatest blessings of today is that so many of you have left comments of encouragement. I can't tell you how many times I've read them all! I've cried reading them, I've laughed reading them; I've held them in my heart. Thank you for walking with me.
Tuesday, September 9, 2008
Yesterday was the Big Day
I have had a number of weird health problems: a very rare type of benign tumors in my knee, extremely high bilirubin levels, random types of cysts in random locations, a tear in my esophagus, and fertility issues. One of doctors studied my case extensively and decided that it was time for me to try a food detox program to see if we can't get my body working more like it should. His idea is to basically boost the immune system so that it's not working on overload all the time and this will hopefully prevent my body from developing an auto-immune disorder later. Naturally, I would LOVE to avoid an auto-immune disorder, so I tell the doctor I'm game.
I'm NOT the ideal candidate for a food detox. My taste buds are pretty much anti-vegetables. That's not a proud fact, but it's my reality. I'm not a huge fan of many fruits either, but they are definitely much more appetizing. I have an incredibly sensitive gag reflex when it comes to smell and weird textures of food. I also have difficulty swallowing pills - especially with water that allows me to taste the pill. Knowing all of these things about myself, I acknowledge that this detox will be the most difficult thing I've ever done.
I take everything into consideration and decide that it really is necessary that I complete this detox. I think it's the best thing for my health, my vanity is excited about the weight loss that will be involved, and I feel like this is an act of obedience in my walk with the Lord.
The health issues and the vanity issues are pretty much self-explanatory in my reasoning for doing this detox. The act of obedience is where some people might question my thinking, yet it is my primary motivation in all of this. I don't really feel like the Lord has asked me do this detox specifically, but I know that the Lord does ask me to take care of my body as His temple. Every day that I overeat, that I pollute my body with junk, that I try to deal with my emotions by eating, that I tell myself that I deserve something simply because I want it; well, it's disobedient. I want to be obedient to Jesus in every area of my life and one of the greatest areas that I am not obedient is in the way I eat. I know that I could work on these issues without going through a detox program, but that hasn't seemed to work for me lately because it's way to cheat or back out. I think that I need something drastic to get my attention; something drastic that will literally change the way my body responds to food.
This detox will last 3 months - definitely something drastic - and the list of foods I'm aloud to eat is VERY SMALL! For the first 10 days, I can't eat any kind of meat - never a good thing for a girl who has a strong love for red meat. Right now, I can eat vegetables (but only certain ones on the small list), any kind of fruit, brown rice and lentils. That's it. After 10 days, I can add chicken or deep sea fish. For 3 months, that is all that me and my PRECIOUS husband will eat. (Praise the Lord that He blessed me with a man who is willing to take these walks with me!) Oh, and let me tell you about the supplements . . . 2 scoops of powder supplements in a fruit smoothie, 1 scoop of protein powder in the shake and then 13 pills to swallow on top of that. With water only. Three times a day. Obedience is not easy.
So, yesterday was our first day of detox. Let me say again . . . OBEDIENCE IS NOT AN EASY THING!!! I woke up very aware that I was about to have a hard day. I had my quiet time with the Lord and then approached my day with confidence that the Lord would help me though and I proceeded to make my first shake. It looked good - it was pink from the berries, and the first initial taste wasn't bad - it was sour and I like sour. I drank some more and felt like gagging, but I kept it under control. I slowly drank a little more. It took me about an hour to get one ounce down and then I threw it all up. I vomited until I dry heaved. Knowing that taking the pills would just cause the lovely vomiting to continue, I decided to pass. I tried to eat something to settle my stomach. I think I cooked all morning trying to find something that tasted decent and didn't make me sick to my stomach. I ate some mushrooms that were good and some fruit. I tried the lentils and couldn't stomach many of those. I couldn't even make rice that I enjoyed! By the afternoon, I was lying on the couch, pretty much unable to move and feeling terrible. I kept telling myself that if I could just make it to bedtime, I would be rewarded with a long night of sleep and no worry of eating.
I made it to bedtime and despite all of the failure and hopelessness that I had during the day, I was still able to feel like the day was a success . . . I only ate things on the list and I didn't give up. Even among the vomiting, the blinding headache, the maybe 400 calories I shoved down my throat, and the overall yuck feeling, I could feel the Lord giving me strength. I didn't feel hungry all day. I was watching TV and I wasn't tempted by even one of the HUNDRED food ads shown. It was a successful day because the Lord made it that way.
This morning I woke up dreading the day ahead. I think I said that I couldn't do this anymore probably 10 times before I even got out of bed. I cried and cried, but the Lord gave me strength to get out of bed and face another day of obedience.
Vernon made his morning shake and I took a lick of it to see if it was something I could tolerate. I immediately began gagging. From one lick. This is not a good sign! I called my doctor and he said that I need to acclimate to the diet for about 5 days before adding the supplements, and then I can add the supplements at half the recommended dosage. I told him that I wasn't sure I could do this and that I was really close to giving up. He told me that my bodies strong reaction to the supplements is a sign that my body DESPERATELY needs this detox - even more than he realized. He said that once my body gets used to the diet, then I'll be able to tolerate the supplements better later. I sure do hope so.
The Lord is still with me. I think I've had about the same amount of calories so far today, but I'm still functioning. I'm still not hungry. I'm still not tempted to cheat on this diet. The Lord is giving me so much strength! I'm making small, baby steps and He's making that possible. I can't think about this detox beyond today, but today has been another success so far. I still haven't had anything truly delicious to eat, but I believe that my taste buds will change as I go through this process so that one day, all of this food will be incredibly tasty. After all, the food that I'm eating was home grown by the Lord and everything He makes is good!
I'm blessed that today has been better for me personally. I'm blessed that even though my husband feels like he has the worst case of flu known to man today, he's still persevering through this with me. He's even still giving me encouraging words while he feels so terribly. He's an amazing man! I'm blessed to have grapes and pineapples today. I'm blessed to not have a job, so that I can rest as I need to. I'm blessed to have my friend Martha doing this first 10 days of only fruits and vegetables with us. Obedience is not easy, but the Lord always reveals His blessings through it. I may kick, scream and cry again tomorrow, but I know He'll walk with me through that and lead me back to obedience. I can't worry about tomorrow though . . . I've still got several hours ahead of eating food I'm not that fond of. Lord, please continue to walk with me through this. Take control over my stomach, my gag reflex, and my head. I praise you for all the ways you have blessed my so far in this experience.
I'm NOT the ideal candidate for a food detox. My taste buds are pretty much anti-vegetables. That's not a proud fact, but it's my reality. I'm not a huge fan of many fruits either, but they are definitely much more appetizing. I have an incredibly sensitive gag reflex when it comes to smell and weird textures of food. I also have difficulty swallowing pills - especially with water that allows me to taste the pill. Knowing all of these things about myself, I acknowledge that this detox will be the most difficult thing I've ever done.
I take everything into consideration and decide that it really is necessary that I complete this detox. I think it's the best thing for my health, my vanity is excited about the weight loss that will be involved, and I feel like this is an act of obedience in my walk with the Lord.
The health issues and the vanity issues are pretty much self-explanatory in my reasoning for doing this detox. The act of obedience is where some people might question my thinking, yet it is my primary motivation in all of this. I don't really feel like the Lord has asked me do this detox specifically, but I know that the Lord does ask me to take care of my body as His temple. Every day that I overeat, that I pollute my body with junk, that I try to deal with my emotions by eating, that I tell myself that I deserve something simply because I want it; well, it's disobedient. I want to be obedient to Jesus in every area of my life and one of the greatest areas that I am not obedient is in the way I eat. I know that I could work on these issues without going through a detox program, but that hasn't seemed to work for me lately because it's way to cheat or back out. I think that I need something drastic to get my attention; something drastic that will literally change the way my body responds to food.
This detox will last 3 months - definitely something drastic - and the list of foods I'm aloud to eat is VERY SMALL! For the first 10 days, I can't eat any kind of meat - never a good thing for a girl who has a strong love for red meat. Right now, I can eat vegetables (but only certain ones on the small list), any kind of fruit, brown rice and lentils. That's it. After 10 days, I can add chicken or deep sea fish. For 3 months, that is all that me and my PRECIOUS husband will eat. (Praise the Lord that He blessed me with a man who is willing to take these walks with me!) Oh, and let me tell you about the supplements . . . 2 scoops of powder supplements in a fruit smoothie, 1 scoop of protein powder in the shake and then 13 pills to swallow on top of that. With water only. Three times a day. Obedience is not easy.
So, yesterday was our first day of detox. Let me say again . . . OBEDIENCE IS NOT AN EASY THING!!! I woke up very aware that I was about to have a hard day. I had my quiet time with the Lord and then approached my day with confidence that the Lord would help me though and I proceeded to make my first shake. It looked good - it was pink from the berries, and the first initial taste wasn't bad - it was sour and I like sour. I drank some more and felt like gagging, but I kept it under control. I slowly drank a little more. It took me about an hour to get one ounce down and then I threw it all up. I vomited until I dry heaved. Knowing that taking the pills would just cause the lovely vomiting to continue, I decided to pass. I tried to eat something to settle my stomach. I think I cooked all morning trying to find something that tasted decent and didn't make me sick to my stomach. I ate some mushrooms that were good and some fruit. I tried the lentils and couldn't stomach many of those. I couldn't even make rice that I enjoyed! By the afternoon, I was lying on the couch, pretty much unable to move and feeling terrible. I kept telling myself that if I could just make it to bedtime, I would be rewarded with a long night of sleep and no worry of eating.
I made it to bedtime and despite all of the failure and hopelessness that I had during the day, I was still able to feel like the day was a success . . . I only ate things on the list and I didn't give up. Even among the vomiting, the blinding headache, the maybe 400 calories I shoved down my throat, and the overall yuck feeling, I could feel the Lord giving me strength. I didn't feel hungry all day. I was watching TV and I wasn't tempted by even one of the HUNDRED food ads shown. It was a successful day because the Lord made it that way.
This morning I woke up dreading the day ahead. I think I said that I couldn't do this anymore probably 10 times before I even got out of bed. I cried and cried, but the Lord gave me strength to get out of bed and face another day of obedience.
Vernon made his morning shake and I took a lick of it to see if it was something I could tolerate. I immediately began gagging. From one lick. This is not a good sign! I called my doctor and he said that I need to acclimate to the diet for about 5 days before adding the supplements, and then I can add the supplements at half the recommended dosage. I told him that I wasn't sure I could do this and that I was really close to giving up. He told me that my bodies strong reaction to the supplements is a sign that my body DESPERATELY needs this detox - even more than he realized. He said that once my body gets used to the diet, then I'll be able to tolerate the supplements better later. I sure do hope so.
The Lord is still with me. I think I've had about the same amount of calories so far today, but I'm still functioning. I'm still not hungry. I'm still not tempted to cheat on this diet. The Lord is giving me so much strength! I'm making small, baby steps and He's making that possible. I can't think about this detox beyond today, but today has been another success so far. I still haven't had anything truly delicious to eat, but I believe that my taste buds will change as I go through this process so that one day, all of this food will be incredibly tasty. After all, the food that I'm eating was home grown by the Lord and everything He makes is good!
I'm blessed that today has been better for me personally. I'm blessed that even though my husband feels like he has the worst case of flu known to man today, he's still persevering through this with me. He's even still giving me encouraging words while he feels so terribly. He's an amazing man! I'm blessed to have grapes and pineapples today. I'm blessed to not have a job, so that I can rest as I need to. I'm blessed to have my friend Martha doing this first 10 days of only fruits and vegetables with us. Obedience is not easy, but the Lord always reveals His blessings through it. I may kick, scream and cry again tomorrow, but I know He'll walk with me through that and lead me back to obedience. I can't worry about tomorrow though . . . I've still got several hours ahead of eating food I'm not that fond of. Lord, please continue to walk with me through this. Take control over my stomach, my gag reflex, and my head. I praise you for all the ways you have blessed my so far in this experience.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)