Yesterday was the Big Day

I have had a number of weird health problems: a very rare type of benign tumors in my knee, extremely high bilirubin levels, random types of cysts in random locations, a tear in my esophagus, and fertility issues. One of doctors studied my case extensively and decided that it was time for me to try a food detox program to see if we can't get my body working more like it should. His idea is to basically boost the immune system so that it's not working on overload all the time and this will hopefully prevent my body from developing an auto-immune disorder later. Naturally, I would LOVE to avoid an auto-immune disorder, so I tell the doctor I'm game.

I'm NOT the ideal candidate for a food detox. My taste buds are pretty much anti-vegetables. That's not a proud fact, but it's my reality. I'm not a huge fan of many fruits either, but they are definitely much more appetizing. I have an incredibly sensitive gag reflex when it comes to smell and weird textures of food. I also have difficulty swallowing pills - especially with water that allows me to taste the pill. Knowing all of these things about myself, I acknowledge that this detox will be the most difficult thing I've ever done.

I take everything into consideration and decide that it really is necessary that I complete this detox. I think it's the best thing for my health, my vanity is excited about the weight loss that will be involved, and I feel like this is an act of obedience in my walk with the Lord.

The health issues and the vanity issues are pretty much self-explanatory in my reasoning for doing this detox. The act of obedience is where some people might question my thinking, yet it is my primary motivation in all of this. I don't really feel like the Lord has asked me do this detox specifically, but I know that the Lord does ask me to take care of my body as His temple. Every day that I overeat, that I pollute my body with junk, that I try to deal with my emotions by eating, that I tell myself that I deserve something simply because I want it; well, it's disobedient. I want to be obedient to Jesus in every area of my life and one of the greatest areas that I am not obedient is in the way I eat. I know that I could work on these issues without going through a detox program, but that hasn't seemed to work for me lately because it's way to cheat or back out. I think that I need something drastic to get my attention; something drastic that will literally change the way my body responds to food.

This detox will last 3 months - definitely something drastic - and the list of foods I'm aloud to eat is VERY SMALL! For the first 10 days, I can't eat any kind of meat - never a good thing for a girl who has a strong love for red meat. Right now, I can eat vegetables (but only certain ones on the small list), any kind of fruit, brown rice and lentils. That's it. After 10 days, I can add chicken or deep sea fish. For 3 months, that is all that me and my PRECIOUS husband will eat. (Praise the Lord that He blessed me with a man who is willing to take these walks with me!) Oh, and let me tell you about the supplements . . . 2 scoops of powder supplements in a fruit smoothie, 1 scoop of protein powder in the shake and then 13 pills to swallow on top of that. With water only. Three times a day. Obedience is not easy.

So, yesterday was our first day of detox. Let me say again . . . OBEDIENCE IS NOT AN EASY THING!!! I woke up very aware that I was about to have a hard day. I had my quiet time with the Lord and then approached my day with confidence that the Lord would help me though and I proceeded to make my first shake. It looked good - it was pink from the berries, and the first initial taste wasn't bad - it was sour and I like sour. I drank some more and felt like gagging, but I kept it under control. I slowly drank a little more. It took me about an hour to get one ounce down and then I threw it all up. I vomited until I dry heaved. Knowing that taking the pills would just cause the lovely vomiting to continue, I decided to pass. I tried to eat something to settle my stomach. I think I cooked all morning trying to find something that tasted decent and didn't make me sick to my stomach. I ate some mushrooms that were good and some fruit. I tried the lentils and couldn't stomach many of those. I couldn't even make rice that I enjoyed! By the afternoon, I was lying on the couch, pretty much unable to move and feeling terrible. I kept telling myself that if I could just make it to bedtime, I would be rewarded with a long night of sleep and no worry of eating.

I made it to bedtime and despite all of the failure and hopelessness that I had during the day, I was still able to feel like the day was a success . . . I only ate things on the list and I didn't give up. Even among the vomiting, the blinding headache, the maybe 400 calories I shoved down my throat, and the overall yuck feeling, I could feel the Lord giving me strength. I didn't feel hungry all day. I was watching TV and I wasn't tempted by even one of the HUNDRED food ads shown. It was a successful day because the Lord made it that way.

This morning I woke up dreading the day ahead. I think I said that I couldn't do this anymore probably 10 times before I even got out of bed. I cried and cried, but the Lord gave me strength to get out of bed and face another day of obedience.

Vernon made his morning shake and I took a lick of it to see if it was something I could tolerate. I immediately began gagging. From one lick. This is not a good sign! I called my doctor and he said that I need to acclimate to the diet for about 5 days before adding the supplements, and then I can add the supplements at half the recommended dosage. I told him that I wasn't sure I could do this and that I was really close to giving up. He told me that my bodies strong reaction to the supplements is a sign that my body DESPERATELY needs this detox - even more than he realized. He said that once my body gets used to the diet, then I'll be able to tolerate the supplements better later. I sure do hope so.

The Lord is still with me. I think I've had about the same amount of calories so far today, but I'm still functioning. I'm still not hungry. I'm still not tempted to cheat on this diet. The Lord is giving me so much strength! I'm making small, baby steps and He's making that possible. I can't think about this detox beyond today, but today has been another success so far. I still haven't had anything truly delicious to eat, but I believe that my taste buds will change as I go through this process so that one day, all of this food will be incredibly tasty. After all, the food that I'm eating was home grown by the Lord and everything He makes is good!

I'm blessed that today has been better for me personally. I'm blessed that even though my husband feels like he has the worst case of flu known to man today, he's still persevering through this with me. He's even still giving me encouraging words while he feels so terribly. He's an amazing man! I'm blessed to have grapes and pineapples today. I'm blessed to not have a job, so that I can rest as I need to. I'm blessed to have my friend Martha doing this first 10 days of only fruits and vegetables with us. Obedience is not easy, but the Lord always reveals His blessings through it. I may kick, scream and cry again tomorrow, but I know He'll walk with me through that and lead me back to obedience. I can't worry about tomorrow though . . . I've still got several hours ahead of eating food I'm not that fond of. Lord, please continue to walk with me through this. Take control over my stomach, my gag reflex, and my head. I praise you for all the ways you have blessed my so far in this experience.